drama

Rainbows are life writing poetry

The Light … beautiful white light. It contains everything. But it also represents the, as the mind might say, boredom of true enlightenment. Nothing spectacular there. Just serenity. Purity. Spotless.

A rainbow gives us a peek into the inner workings. It enables the mind to perceive all the ingredients in that white light by separating them. It induces bliss and amazement by showing the mind all there is that it normally is not aware of since it is used to seeing it all mashed together, perceiving only the end product.

And when do we get this opportunity?

Not when everything is fine. Naturally.

But when on a rainy day, the Light clashes with the grim setting, does not allow it to have the stage to itself. When a ray of hope breaks through in dark times.

The contrast makes us see.

I consider it of profound meaning in connection to this that psychedelic experiences tend to come with perceptions of the rainbow colors.
They make us aware of the full spectrum; of maybe the light at first, but other things later. Time. Space. Experiences. Possibilities.

The Cruel God Fallacy

Some people say things like: How can God allow such horrific suffering? I thought he is loving.

Some people greatly enjoy watching/reading Game of Thrones, or any other kind of great drama, with death and emotional agony and all that.
Do people say how the creators are so cruel and condemn them? No. People enjoy drama. Because it touches them emotionally. Pleasantly and unpleasantly. Feeling is the key; it is favored. It makes people relate. The writers themselves might be very emotionally attached to their works. And there the big picture is what matters. They love the whole thing and don’t (necessarily) play favorites.

Now how can you (being a part of God’s creation) imply that God has any different relationship with his creation? He, too, appreciates a good show/story, exploration of an experience. And thus life is enriched with emotions, without which life would literally feel dead.
And you cannot have one pole without the other. Even if you could, then the exploration would not be perfect. The exploration of infinite possibilities. Because that is the positive message in the fact that anything can exist, no matter how horrible: It demonstrates those infinite possibilities actively at work. Anything could happen. And when you embrace that, it opens your heart, and when you open your heart to it, you can enjoy it.
That’s the irony of profound wisdom: Bad stuff will happen till the end of time, but if you don’t conditionalize the good stuff based on the bad stuff, then the latter loses power over you. This is a lesson that cannot be understood. It can only be experienced, felt, internalized. Don’t expect it to be quick or easy. It just happens when you move towards it. Which means not subjecting it to conditions, because that’s a good way to slow it down. That’s not at all what love is about.
If you manage to love the whole work of art, you will have an understanding with the creator. And that is something, haha.

This is, as all paths of overcoming suffering, about releasing the mind’s control.
Love will always be your loyal ally, and fear will always be your fierce enemy. Do your best not to collude with the enemy. You have the absolutely most powerful ally at your disposal.
But don’t worry, there is no dead end. When fear really gets you, it will make love become so much more worth giving attention.

Scold people for doing bad things if you like, but scolding God seems silly.
Who do you think you are? 😉

Don’t torture yourself.

Bioshock Infinite and the poetical metaphor of time travel

This is spoiler-heavy. You will probably need to know the story of Bioshock Infinite to follow this completely, although if you haven’t and don’t mind the spoilers, go ahead and read on. You will understand the core message.

Years ago I had a very profound and troubling experience on ayahuasca, during my heightened efforts to improve my life, and much later, when I played through the finale of Bioshock Infinite, I got a very unsettling feeling and my heartbeat increased and I was trembling – very much like at the onset of said experience. It was a reminder of an all-too-familiar experience – beginning when you step through the lighthouse door – the breakthrough threshold.
I think, based on my own experiences, that the overall message of this story that has been portrayed so elaborately and at length is this:

If you want to unmake something that has already happened for you (because you refuse to accept those painful parts of your life), then you have to unmake yourself. Your life experience is inherently your journey, beyond the confines of linear time, so if you want to change that, you have to change yourself. You have to kill a part of yourself; the part that reflects on the outside world in that way.
Comstock is the version of Booker who conveniently accepted to (because of the potential actual superficiality of the baptism ritual) abandon all influence of his past wicked deeds, while Booker, refusing the baptism, couldn’t forgive himself for what he did. Or at least he accepted the path that would offer a chance for him to maybe forgive himself some time in the future, as a gradual process.

Booker’s whole story is about being torn between two extremes, when the solution is to accept what you have done and decide to live with it, to forgive yourself without refusing personal responsibility. Refusing the baptism might have been the right choice of two alternatives, but following that right path eventually became too painful and depressing for him, so his own internal nemesis offered him to wipe away the regret and go in sync with Comstock’s path, which is like a mere relapse. He was acting based on the accumulated pain, thus inviting the other extreme.
This is really close to things I went through during said ayahuasca trip. It’s like the same message that I had been taught then, which I now mention here, since I recognize it in the writing of the game’s story.

Time travel themed fictional writing often follows the idea of inevitability of fate for a good reason. Time is ultimately just an illusion, and time travel is an idea borne out of the egoic mind’s desire for power. Thus, time travel is part of the limited egoic experience, and actions of time travel are incorporated into the flow of time in the first place. Time travel, for the egoic mind, changes the course of history, but that change of the course of history has been part of the plan all along.

This is, again, the very poetical and dramatic aspect of the whole idea of time travel, about not being at peace with the past and wanting to change what has already been done. About lack of self-acceptance.

Again: Booker chose the difficult path of the uncertain chance of eventual, gradual self-forgiveness. Comstock chose the cop-out of refusing responsibility. (Even changing his name – that’s like saying: “I’m not that person anymore anyway, so his actions don’t concern me.” Profound denial that doesn’t really erase the past, and deep down he knows it, thus he became such a problem for society, projecting his inner issues on the outside and condemning things he himself had taken part in in a righteous, holier-than-thou way.) So as the combined person of Booker-Comstock, the actual problem was that Booker was torn in the first place – that he couldn’t decide between two sub-optimum extremes and couldn’t find the middle path. Comstock is like a metaphor for regret at having made the wrong decision. You could even say that Booker eventually had wished he had chosen to become Comstock, and that made it possible for Comstock to exist and offer him that opportunity. Booker couldn’t forgive himself for his past deeds because he still kept Comstock as an alternative alive in his mind. The metaphor here is that Booker is at war with himself, which was depicted literally via the game.

This is why I appreciate the game: The story is remarkable. Some might say it’s just “standard multiverse stuff”, but they’re overlooking the crucial human touch, the metaphor, the poetry in this story.